第27部分(第2/7 页)

usions。　Just　like　a　woman。〃

〃Nobody's　criticizing　you；　Beth。〃

〃I　am。〃

〃Nobody　else；〃　Norman　said。　〃I　think　you　ought　to　give　yourself　a　break。〃

She　stared　at　the　lab　bench。　Finally　she　said；　〃I　can't。〃　Something　about　the　way　she　said　it　touched　him。　〃I　understand；〃　Norman　said；　and　a　memory　came　rushing　back　to　him。　〃You　know；　when　I　was　a　kid；　I　went　to　the　beach　with　my　younger　brother。　Tim。　He's　dead　now；　but　Tim　was　＇＇179＇＇　about　six　at　the　time。　He　couldn't　swim　yet。　My　mother　told　me　to　watch　him　carefully；　but　when　I　got　to　the　beach　all　my　friends　were　there；　body…surfing。　I　didn't　want　to　be　bothered　with　my　brother。　It　was　hard；　because　I　wanted　to　be　out　in　the　big　surf；　and　he　had　to　stay　close　to　shore。

〃Anyway；　in　the　middle　of　the　afternoon　he　es　out　of　the　water　screaming　bloody　murder；　absolutely　screaming。　And　tugging　at　his　right　side。　It　turned　out　he　had　been　stung　by　some　kind　of　a　jellyfish。　It　was　still　attached　to　him；　sticking　to　his　side。　Then　he　collapsed　on　the　beach。　One　of　the　mothers　ran　over　and　took　Timmy　to　the　hospital；　before　I　could　even　get　out　of　the　water。　I　didn't　know　where　he　had　gone。　I　got　to　the　hospital　later。　My　mother　was　already　there。　Tim　was　in　shock；　I　guess　the　poison　was　a　heavy　dose　for　his　small　body。　Anyway；　nobody　blamed　me。　It　wouldn't　have　mattered　if　I　had　been　sitting　right　on　the　beach　watching　him　like　a　hawk；　he　would　still　have　been　stung。　But　I　hadn't　been　sitting　there；　and　I　blamed　myself　for　years；　long　after　he　was　fine。　Every　time　I'd　see　those　scars　on　his　side；　I　felt　terrible　guilt。　But　you　get　over　it。　You're　not　responsible　for　everything　that　happens　in　the　world。　You　just　aren't。〃

There　was　a　silence。　Somewhere　in　the　habitat　he　heard　a　soft　rhythm